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Forming a social network

Starting in a new place

If you want a social network, it is very important, when you start a new job, not to turn down the first invitations offered to you. First impressions count for a lot in human interaction. If people's initial impressions of you are that you're withdrawn, they won't go out of their way to offer further invitations. It can be very hard to muster the aggressiveness needed to insert yourself into a group that has already excluded you.


Before you even open your mouth people will have begun to make an impression of you, in fact your appearance can have more of an impact than what you say. The very basics of appearence should be sorted out before you walk in and make the introduction. Note the below lists are not exhaustive, but they are supposed to be an outline that covers most of the basics.

Unisex checklist

  • Clothing. Check out what your work places dress code is and ensure you have enough appropriate outfits (at least a weeks worth ideally)
  • Basic Hygiene. Ensure you have all the essentials for this (i.e. toothpaste, toothbrush, shampoo + showerwash, soap, deodorant, washing tablets and conditioner).

Male checklist

  • Shaving. You need a kit for

Female checklist

left for obvious reasons so far - afraid I am clueless here

People of course form far more of an impression from your body language. Before you walk into the room, do yo


Teams commonly go out to lunch as a group on a new employee's first day. Go with them, even if you brought your lunch, even if you're exhausted and overstimmed. It will save you major headaches later. When the next lunchtime comes, watch the rest of the group. Do they all eat together in the break room? Do they discreetly disappear from the building?

If they eat together, join them for a couple of days - long enough that they get used to seeing you as one of them - and then feel free to go off on your own some days. If they don't eat together regularly, keep watching until the next group outing. It can be hard to spot, especially if you don't sit near the center of the group, or if they don't send out an email thread before they leave. Generally two or three people will congregate, and then they will walk around and ask other people if they want to come. Especially if you're the type of person who fades into the woodwork, they may not think to ask you. You may have to make your own invitation.

Walk up to the periphery of the group who are talking about food and say "Are you guys going for lunch now?" Usually that's all it takes to join them - one of them will say yes and then all you have to do is stand with the group until they decide where they're going and start walking towards the door. If they actively don't like you (which is far more unlikely than it feels) then they will try to avoid you without saying anything directly. However, most NT's are savvy enough not to organize an outing in the immediate presence of a person they don't want to invite.


Greet people when you arrive in the morning, and say "have a good night" or "later" or something similar when you leave. You don't have to greet everyone and you don't have to do it every day, but if you greet people then they are more likely to remember you.

Created by: admin. Last Modification: Saturday 24 of January, 2009 03:59:52 UTC by Hadron.

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